Sunday, 18 September 2016

The One Where She Tries To Sort Her Witchy Shit Out

I would love to know how people get shit done. How people seem to have full time jobs but still find the time to read loads of books, write loads of articles or chapters for books or even whole books themselves. How people manage to sign up for courses and actually complete them on schedule within the right time constraints and now still be faffing around on the first month a couple of years after they signed up. How people manage to complete projects, whether they're arty or whatever, where is the time?

I can't lie, I do not spend my time wisely. Once I get home from work the first thing I will do after dumping my bag down is turning on my laptop, or just lifting the lid as 99.9% of the time I don't even turn my laptop off properly. And I will sit there for a little while, perhaps until Husband comes home where we will exchange plesantries, dinner is cooked, an hour and a half after that we watch a couple of episodes of whatever series we're watching or watch a movie if that's where things are going that day. Then whatever time I have left I am either sat on my laptop staring at Imgur or starting at conversations in Whatsapp that I am generally not in the slightest bit interested in. Before I know it it's time for bed and the cycle starts again. Weekends aren't much better and I often find myself staring at YouTube videos of my favourite YT pagans wishing that my life was like that before sighing and watching an hour worth of vines from the same fucking guy.

Something has to change.

I can't completely cut out my laptop, I use it for the very occasional blogs I do or the articles I vaguely write and planning I roughly do. If there are things I want to watch on TV, like the Great British Bake Off and Ripper Street that are given up for no one) then I usually have to watch them on my laptop if the TV is taken over by Husband and games. But there is an addiction there and I can't shake it.

But it's not just my laptop, it's my phone too. I'm always on Facebook or Imgur or something which is just wasting my time when I could be doing more important things.

"but Jenny, what does this have to do with sorting your witchy shit which is clearly the title of your blog?" I'm getting there.

As you know I did a talk this year at Artemis Gathering and it was about falling by the wayside and how to get back onto your path. It was all from personal experiences and I can tell you that 99.9% of the reasons that I have fallen off my path is because of the time I spend on the internet or I spend staring at my phone. Either it eats my time or I become so bogged down in whatever is going "out there" or I'm put in a mood by meaningless shit that people try to convince me is exciting news that I don't want to do anything else.

I am happy when I am reading and I am happy when I am practicing my path and the fact that I am not putting the time in to do things is upsetting me and I know I only have myself to blame. So it's time to sort my witchy shit out - also my mundane shit but we won't go into that in this blog.

So what am I going to do? I am going to have dedicated Internet Free nights - that means everything, Facebook, Imgur, Whatsapp everything is getting turned off and my phone is going in a drawer. Those nights I am either going to be reading or I am going to be spending my time writing or even crazily practicing my path. Art might come into it, I love doing art and it's another thing that makes me happy or other crafting based hobbies. I am aware it is going to drive me completely insane but if I can find a connection to doing things without stopping ever 2 minutes to check my Facebook notifications or some drivel someone is trying to message me then I might actually get shit done.

I made a database of all the Witchy books I have on my shelf and marked the ones I haven't read. It was deeply depressing and not a list I am going to show my husband or he'll probably tell me to get rid f some. Some of these books have been on my shelves for years and it's largely because of the internet thing that I haven't read them. When I've not been feeling witchy the last thing I have wanted to do is to pick up a witchy book and read it. And I have all sorts on there, full year course books, small books, massive large in depth ones I've just not touched. So I need to read them or if I know that I am not going to read them for whatever reason then they need to be gone.

There are courses that I signed up for a while ago and haven't competed, free ones mind you so not wasted money or anything but some I signed up to years ago and I've not got very far or barely started. Part of it has been life getting in the way but as ever it's 99.9% due to wasting my own personal time with shit. I will need to sort out some time a week where all I am doing is looking at one of those course then possibly two if I'm feeling radical enough to get there.

Journalling is something else that falls by the wayside, it's something I banged on about in my talk but I am also very aware of my own shortcomings when it comes to journaling. I have got a book of shadows and I barely touch it. I started writing in the one I have at the moment in 2013 and there is very little in there in terms of personal growth. It's something I am going to have to get into the habit of and just fucking do.

So that's my plan, less online time and more time sorting my witchy shit out. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to reach some kind of places where I can be sorted and start working on some of the bigger project ideas I have whirling around in my head. It'll never work otherwise.