I have wanted to start a blog on my path for a while, mainly to encourage me to get out there and experience it more than anything. It’s a bit too easy to say “yes, yes, I believe this” without really knowing if I do. I’m a lazy pagan and I won’t deny it. I think the closest I get to pagan practice these days is fiddling about with crystals or occasionally gazing at a tree. I’m not really a big one for rituals, either sabbat celebrations or a three hour endeavour to cast a spell (thought I could have been doing something wrong there). Neither am I a “doer” I don’t create or make, or cook particularly, or produce salves and potions or charms. I suppose there are those of you reading this going “So just what do you do?” and I should tell you.
I am pagan. That I think I have known deep down for years. I’ve been studying various aspects of paganism for the better part of 10 years. As a teen I was drawn to Witchcraft and Wicca, as one is, and was determined that that would be me. A lot of it seemed right, and even if it didn’t I accepted it anyway, after all, the man in the book said so. I didn’t know at that time that paths were explorable, interchangeable and least of all experiential. I had one book that took everywhere with me, Scott Cunningham’s Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner. An excellent book for the beginning Wiccan, it was the first book I read properly on the path of Wicca, the other being Natural Magic by Doreen Valiente, a hand me down from my father. It introduced me to magick, I saw the simplicity of it, and that was what drew me to the path. Simple magick? Yes please! When I picked up Cunningham I had pretty much left Valiente behind, I felt that Cunningham was the religion side, not Valiente, and that was what I wanted. So I read it, and read it, but I never practiced. There was a fear within me that I was going to do it wrong. Of course, being on my own and with no one to talk to there was no one to tell me that I wouldn’t do anything wrong. What happened would happen. And I wish I had heard of some of the funny ritual stories I’ve heard now then, I might not have been so worried. I felt like I had done one year of Wicca about seven or eight times before I grew fed up. I was more active with online discussion forums and blogs piquing my interest, but I still wasn’t practicing. I was still scared. I had even toyed with the idea of moving to Druidry as it seemed less complicated (that didn’t pan out either). So I got stuck until Tylluan Penry’s Seeking the Green came to me. It was reading that I realised that I didn’t need to do the rituals or the magick if I didn’t want to. One of the wonderful things about paganism is that there are so many different paths to choose from, and if one of those doesn’t fit then 9 times out of 10 someone will create their own. I’m not going to say that my path is unique, but it’s mine. And that’s what matters.
My path has some of the basic points I find that a lot of paths do. I believe in a God and a Goddess, I see them in everything and although when I connect to them I see them as human formed individuals I do not necessarily believe that they are humanoids sat on clouds awaiting our wishes. I believe that they will appear to us in forms that are either comforting to us or less obtrusive. So perhaps they come to me as animals as opposed to just appearing in a human form going “cooee, look at me!” I think that would scare me to death to be honest. I largely feel them instead of see them. I know they are there when I feel their radiating love though nature or elements or what have you. Sometimes just in the middle of the night, perhaps when I need some reassurance. Yes, I’m a witch that’s scared of the dark, shush.
I do believe in magick, it’s something I have a great interest in and it is something I am currently researching. I’m looking into the science of magick, so that’s a lot of physics. So I'm engrossed in Stephen Hawking at the moment. I think that too many people are just generally accepting of magick, it is there, it works. But I want to know why it works, how it works and what laws, if we know of them, control it. Once I have got so far as to having an understanding and a way of putting it into words I will put that up here as I can't be the only one interested in the science behind magick!
The main difference in my path than others, I find, is that although I will follow the principles of harm none, I'm not sure how far I believe in the "what goes out comes back". I don't think it comes back threefold, I don't see there being harm in doing a little something for yourself. Naturally I'm a kind person and so I would never do something that would go against someones will, love spells for me are a huge no-no. Equally, I am highly unlikely to curse someone. So I suppose my morals probably aren't any further than most pagans and witches.
I am largely nature based, I would rather be outside than inside, though sometimes nature conspires against me and inside is best (hayfever :( ). I can’t begin to explain how I feel when I am truly enveloped in nature. I feel the love of the God and the Goddess certainly, I just feel an immense happiness. Like nothing in the world could stop me feeling that way. When I’m down, I only need to go and hug a tree to get back up again. And that t me is probably the most important part of my path, the nature aspect, it helps me, it helps those around me and it helps the world. The energies that our mother and father put out there for us are the best magick of all.
I’m not 100% sure where this blog is going to end up. Expect pictures, expect me to get things wrong, expect the unexpected! Whenever I have an experience, a thought, a ritual, a finding, or just want to coo over the newest crystal, I’ll post here.
Thank you for reading.