Witchfest 2016

Wow.

I think that's all I really need to say. I've had a phenomenal weekend, I've had new ideas and new avenues to explore, new writers to investigate and new shiny things to play with. But lets go back to the beginning before I start gushing about the many things I bought from the market.

I headed to London on Friday morning, on a slightly packed train but I made it largely unscathed. A quick flirt with the underground and I was soon on a train from Victoria to Brighton, I was ridiculously excited. So excited I didn't read any of the books I had brought with me on either train. I met up with my friends Nisha and Chris. We had a lovely lunch at a Vegetarian placed called Iydea and then headed to the flat (after extracting Nisha from many shops along the way). We made our way to our Air BNB, which was small but all we really needed. After a spot of shopping (and more extracting of Nisha) we headed to the Brighton Centre (via a chip shop).

I don't think I was quite prepared for the size of the Auditorium in the Brighton Centre. It was HUGE. We managed to nab seats at the front which was both a blessing and a curse, largely because once people got up to dance it was difficult to see! But we persevered and very much enjoyed Spriggan Mist, Crow Dancers and Inkubus Sukkubus. I personally can't wait for the Crow Dancers album and pestered KT at least twice over the weekend about it! But the bands sounded fantastic, the sound was brilliant and it was the best I've heard Inkubus Sukkubus ever be!

We all got kicked out at 5 to 11 and we headed to bed, via a kebab shop because, food. It was so noisy when we got back to the flat though, the neighbours were playing very loud music when we got in but fortunately had turned it down just before I tried to sleep. But it was Friday night in Kemptown and it was busy, that's life I guess!

The next day we were up early, passed through a Costa for breakfast (gingerbread muffins naturally), and headed for a day of learning and fun. There was a bit of a delayed start due to the fact so many people were still trying to get in. I suspect this might have had something to do with the revolving doors making it slow for people to get in, or it might just have been because so many fricking people were there! I have no idea what the final numbers were but it was fantastic to see so many people turn out. The opening blessing was given by Kate West, and I was a little bit excited about that because this year was my first year hearing Kate West speak, but more on that later.

We, unfortunately, decided to skip Rufus Harrington's talk because we were worried we weren't going to get any shopping time, We were going to be in talks or events from 12 until about half 5 so it was near enough going to be our only shopping time. I ended up coming away with a awl for scratching symbols on candles, a Morrigan Bust, my first two Ember Vincent Pieces, a copy of Magical Times and some oils from Dominae Lunae Apothecary. (I think that's it).

Our first talk of the day was Witchcraft into the Wilds by Rachel Patterson. It took some finding, it was in the Syndicate wing of the Brighton Centre and was a bit difficult to find. But, we got there and as most of the talks we wanted to go to were in that wing we didn't have to move very far for the rest! I have to say I liked Rachel immensely, she very much draws from nature instead of buying things, because it's not really needed (don't tell my husband that). She herself is a self proclaimed "Lazy Witch" which is always something I call myself so I resonated a lot with what she said. She even gave advice to a question which echos things I said in my talk at Artemis Gathering, so much more exploring is required here. Looking forward to venturing down that avenue more!

Second was Raegan Shanti's Talk AKA Nisha! It was on Movement Meditation, and I have to say it was lovely to see it so well attended. Her talk was well researched (far better than mine ever was) and the movement part was lovely, I never usually get to go to Nisha's talks due to things getting in the way so it was great to get to see her talk, especially in front of  group. She was very much in her element there, even if she did get a bit tongue tied at times. (Love ya, Nish!)

Next was Damh the Bard and the Mabinogion, which I learnt I have been saying wrong for years (but of course). I know little about the Mabinogion but it was interesting to finally heard Damh speak. He very much knows his stuff! This is another topic I want to explore further, next year maybe, starting with reading the Mabinogion. An interesting introduction though with ideas I hope I remember while I'm reading.

Kate West was someone I was looking forward to seeing for a long time. She stopped doing events for a while as I was just beginning to attend my first ones so I was a little upset at the time! But she's back and I was delighted. I enjoyed her talk, I enjoyed the anecdotes and advice she had to impart. She seemed very much no nonsense which is the same feeling you get come across in her books. I very much felt inspired to carry on with what I'm doing and again came up with a few more avenues to go down, not least to actually finish her books...

Last but not least, Professor Ronald Hutton discussed Western Magical Traditions and basically how they all came from the East in a way, Egypt and Assyria. A lot of what has been copied down in the past has travelled far and wide, so it's interesting know that at least some of what we practice might have some basis in ancient magic, though it's, once again, something more to read about and to research. Why is it I always come away from these things with what feels like homework!?

At 5pm there was a raffle. After complaining I never win anything I won three things, a print of the artwork from Damh the Bard's Antlered Crown and Standing Stone by Ceri Lee, a signed copy of THe Witching Path by Moira Stirland and a Witch necklace I gave to Nisha (who had no raffle luck in the slightest). I'm very pleased with my picks although I now need more wall space for the Ceri Lee print!

After another quick run around the market before it closed (where I bought the other half of Ember Vincent's stall and a couple of itty bitty crystal Venus of Willendorf's) we headed into town for dinner. We ended up in a lovely little italian place and consumed my only alcoholic beverage of the whole weekend! (I know, it's shocking). Unfortunately timing meant we missed Daughters of Gaia but we did make it back in time to see Damh the Bard.

Now, anyone who knows me, will know that Damh the Bard is my number one top Pagan Artist ever. I could listen to nothing but him for weeks, and frequently have. So I was very excited to be able to see him twice this year (although I'm hoping it will be three times next year!).  He sounded fantastic on the big stage and I think he was quite giddy about being on it himself. For the whole set I was whispering "Play Sabbat, please play Sabbat, you really want to play Sabbat." Then he started talking about playing songs that he didn't play because of huge production (Sabbat?) and how he really wanted to play this one (please be Sabbat?) and he was going to play it for the first time (Sabbat!?). It was! I swear the by the second chord I was on my feet and dancing. I was so excited I grabbed my friend Joy out of her seat and made her dance. (Seriously, Sabbat is like my favourite song at the moment, I was utterly delighted and even ignored the fact he sang the wrong verse). So now I have to spam him before Staffordshire Pagan Conference and hope to get a repeat performance! (Seriously, I was over the fricking moon!) So after buying a copy of Sabbat and got it signed followed by sweaty Bard Hug (TM) we went back in for The Dolmen.

When I saw the Dolmen back at Artemis Gathering you could not get me off of my feet. I danced for their entire set and I was fricking exhausted. While I very much enjoyed the performance of the Dolmen I didn't feel the urge to get up and dance. Maybe it was just because I had had such a full day and I was pretty tired, I don't know. I think the energies of Artemis Gathering suited them better. I also noted they're far more Tribal at Artemis than they were at Witchfest. However, I did finally learn the name of one of the songs I love so I bought the CD with that on it :)

Wearily we made our way back to the flat, that was missing the party next door Friday night had, much to our delight. after a "quick" snack of pringles and gingerbread we went to sleep, ready for our next day of adventures in Brighton.

As we weren't in a particular rush we had a lazy get up and managed to fit everything into our suitcases (although I'm not entirely sure how!) I had learnt not long before Witchfest that our flat was literally round the corner from Doreen Valiente's flat. So we checked out of the flat and made our pilgrimage. We weren't the only ones either, there were people there when we got there and people heading up with great enthusiasm when we were leaving. I had a bit of a moment there. It was weird to think that as I stood on the steps of Tyson place that Doreen had stood once. Possibly on her way to a ritual, possibly after marching up the hill with bags of groceries (I don't know how she managed that!), but there she would have stood or passed. A small tear came to my eye as I could very much still feel here there, slightly bemused at all the visitors to her little flat, but a little bit pleased all the same, that we're there, open and in so many numbers.

We found "breakfast" in town before heading to the sea for a bit. I collected a bit of sea water and found a hagstone so I was quite pleased :) I love being by the sea and wished we'd made more time to be there without having suitcases. Maybe next time!

After a quick trip via a couple of shops (I think we can guess who we had to extract...) we made our way up to Preston Manor to see the exhibition. It was small but perfectly formed. I had goosebumps the moment I went in and had a few more tears in my eyes pretty quickly. What struck me was very much the normality of it all. Gerald Gardner's book was a blank financial ledger, Doreen's was written in biro with a pencil note on how to pronounce Samhain. The items she collected from antique shops were beautiful, and again, the presence of Doreen was very very much present. I'm delighted to have had a chance to see the exhibition, and I am very much hoping that they make something bigger very soon. As it was "exit via the gift shop" I came back with more wares, a copy of Doreen Valiente's An ABC of Witchcraft Past and Present which I've not had my hands on before, a couple of postcards from the Foundation, a card of art of John Belham-Payne and a Pentagram notebook, within which I might start a new Book of Shadows with one instruction to myself, "be more Doreen".

Wearily we made our way back to the station to wait for the train home. The remainder of the journey was fairly uneventful, my train was cold and I made it home earlier than I planned.

I did read a bit of ABC of Witchcraft on my way home, and it made me think of a conversation Nisha and I had had about us being the future of Witchcraft, our generation is the next to step up and will be the elders of Witchcraft one day. We sort of panicked over expectations on new ways in the craft, what can we do when everything has already been done? But Doreen says "There are many realms still to be explored, and doubtless many discoveries still to be made." That might be in a book published in 1973, but I believe it's still true. And if we're going to get there we need events like Witchfest to help spark the imagination, to bring us down new avenues of thought. To come together as a community, share ideas and inspire the next generation.

So here's to Witchfest 2017, see you on the seafront :)

Shift Happens

Hey Pop Tarts (Note to self: Stop binge watching Kelly-Ann Maddox)

I've been thinking of wanting to blog for a week or so now but I had no idea where to start. I feel like I've started going through a bit of a spiritual shift. Whether this is an actual shift or whether it's because it's the "witchy" time of the year, I'm not sure. To start, let's go back to something I said in 2014 on Facebook.

I'm not going to lie, until some time this year I also thought I was possibly off my rocker. Perhaps I still am but I feel I have now gone beyond this point. 

Around the time I made this post I decided to take a step further into my social spirituality and joined a bunch of groups on Social Media. I made a few friends in there and felt I generally got on with them pretty well. At the least I felt like I was part of something and while I wasn't doing much in terms of spiritual practice I could chat about beliefs and read the thoughts of like-minded souls and I enjoyed it. They became my support network, certainly for 2015 where I wasn't able to go to any events, although I did get the chance to spend time in Glastonbury but wasn't as full on spiritual as I would have liked to have been due to being weighed down by some form of expectation that I was going to be hit by a bolt from the blue and a major spark of inspiration that didn't really happen. Perhaps that's another blog. 

2016 has been a much different year for me. I've had more involvement in some pagan groups, I've already been to a conference, a camp where I was a speaker, have written a couple of magazine articles and contributed to a book. I also have Witchfest on the horizon and I really can't wait for the energy that that is going to bring to my life. As part of the year, the writing aspect has gone hand in hand with a lot of introspection. The articles and talk I did were all based on my own experiences and my own spirituality and it is a lot of what I was going through or really still am going through. 

The feelings of being a fraud, I feel, tie in to my Facebook post to a degree. Either I feel like a fraud or that I am off my rocker, or I end up stepping away after such questioning periods. They're healthy though, again, things I've gone through in the past or things that tinge what I am currently going through. 

As I said I feel like I am going through a bit of a spiritual shift and that shift seems to be someone telling me "no fucking bullshit". I've grown tired of a lot of the online pagan community, mostly people in groups who post more "new age" aspects which I do not feel directly link to a lot of the groups core messages. If I saw one more post of "here is a picture of a lamp I bought, can you tell me if you have any messages for me?" No. Fuck off. Go visit psychic Sally if that's what you want. Don't get me wrong, there is a place for that kind of thing if its what you want but not in a page of fucking hedge witchery. Likewise, I do not need to see photographs of the intimate practices you do with your significant other, nor do I need to know the exact details of where you sprinkle the "sacred love salt". Apparently reporting that to Facebook didn't class it as nudity...

So aside from cutting out the groups that no longer serve me, and I have to question if they ever actually did, I am moving away from a lot of stupid influences and surrounding myself with aspects of the community that are the same on the "no fucking bullshit" persuasion. I've found myself watching a lot more youtube videos and seeking out people on there who really know their shit, like Kelly-Ann Maddox and Joey Morris from Starry Eyed Supplies. I'm still keeping some of my original influences like Pagyptsian and Laura Daligan but I certainly need some oomph in my path and practices and all four of those people are certainly people who can inspire that within me. 

The other part of the shift for me, and again, this is linked intrinsically, I feel, with the "no fucking bullshit" part. I've thought of setting up a small part of daily practice which is not something I currently do. My path is mostly I'll do it when I feel like it which hast got me by pretty much most of the time. I felt like doing something through the week and it was simply sitting outside, with a candle, chatting to the Goddess. I didn't call her by name, I sat and I wittered on about all my problems and everything else when I just came out with "Goddess, Morrigan, help me." And I stopped. And I thought "what the actual fuck". 

I have recently noticed an increase of Morrigan in my life, either in the videos I've watched or the people who I have followed or art I've been drawn to. So I don't know if it's part of that but since I called on Morrigan part of me is all fuck yeah warrior energy in the parts of my life where I have needed it. It's mainly been my spirituality and where I am wanting to go with that but there are aspects where something is telling me that I am so not happy in other parts of my life and telling me to change them. I know there is going to end up being a fucktonne of introspection again there and some deep shit but I am ready. The war paint is to hand and I am so fucking ready to move past the shit that's weighing me down and go into a new phase of where I should be. 

I have no idea how long Morrigan is going to be there in my life, I know she comes and goes as she pleases and as and when she knows I need her but this is it. Dark Goddess in the Dark half of the year. 

Bring it on.

Artemis Gathering 2016 - Sunday - Monday

Sunday

I woke up Sunday morning feeling nervous. It wouldn’t be that long until I gave my first ever talk on Paganism. I decided not to dwell on it, but with everyone asking me every two minutes how it was it was really hard not to think about it.

After the usual get up, breakfast, waking up Sam, routine, we headed to the first talk of Sunday which was a woodland walk with Elm Cloud. It started with a gentleman who had made a moth trap and some of the moths were stunning. My favourite was a Black Arches moth because it was fluffy and just so darn cute! The rest of it Elm went through trees and plants and what their properties were, elements of folklore and other things. It was a lovely gentle start to the day and Elm was as informative as ever, I do like his talks.

At 11 it was to be a talk that ended up cancelled so I had some down time to panic the crap out of myself, look at some stalls and very very slowly make myself to the Taurus lodge where I would be giving my talk.

By the time I had stopped at the tree for the next talk my nerves had tripled. People started turning up and asking if I was there for the talk where I informed them that I was the talk. When the previous talk finally finished I was really beginning to shake. Especially when most of the people from the previous talk stayed! I have no idea of the exact numbers that turned up but I’d say 30 maybe, it was certainly far better attended that I could have hoped for. Some shakes aside, and referring to my paper far more than I had wished to, I made it through relatively unscathed. People laughed at the jokes and I saw a lot of people nodding with what was being said. There was only one question, which was about my deities and it’s something I am going to have to go on and explore myself because it was an interesting notion. People took handouts I had made with book recommendations and tips, there was quite a rush when I said I had a limited number. Some people stopped to tell me that they had connected with what I had said and it made them feel like they weren’t alone. I had others coming up to me throughout the rest of the day telling me the same and even a messages since I’ve got home which was the final straw that made me weep. I’ve had one where someone who attended informed me that they have been inspired by it and taking steps back along their path which for me is amazing. I didn’t think my talk would have had that degree of inspiration or understanding with people. So if anyone is reading this who came to my talk, thank you, once again for coming!

Next was a break to dance with Inkubus Sukkubus who I enjoyed, as ever.  Singing highlights for me were Wytches and The Corn King. Candia also threw me the ivy circlet she was wearing which made my friend Nisha incredibly jealous. It remained a feature for the rest of the weekend and I left it as an offering of thanks to the spirit of the place before I left on Monday. Unfortunately I missed the talk on Finnish Spellcrafting by my friend Tatja as Inkkies ran on a bit but I probably needed the time to chill after anyway. Will have to make sure I make it to her talks next time! I did manage to introduce myself and give her a quick hug as we’ve chatted online quite a bit but never in person so it was lovely to meet her.

Flavia Kate Peters was next with a talk on the Wheel of Fortune. I’ve not gone to any of Flavia’s talks in the past as they seem to focus a lot on faeries which I don’t know how I feel about yet so I’ve always avoided them. This one, I really enjoyed. It echoed a lot of thoughts I’ve had on the Wheel of Fortune and Wheel of the Year already and it’s something I hope to write an article about. We did a guided meditation with drum where we travelled through the wheel of the year spun in random at Fortuna’s hand. It was interesting, the different points of being up and down on the wheel. My thoughts were all over the place and Flavia later told me that she could pick up on my energies and that there was a lot to work through. It gave me a lot of things to think about and work towards as did the final talk on my schedule.

Barbara Meiklejohn-Free is someone I have seen speak before although it was a few years ago now, and last time I was at Artemis Gathering I heard great things from her workshop so I decided, bit spur of the moment, that I was going to go to Walking with the Ancestors. So we trekked into the woods (where I am pretty sure most of my bites came from…) and we started doing a ritual and meditation to the Ancestors. I won’t go into details as to what exactly happened for me but it was a deep connection and there was an important lesson for me at the beginning about speaking from my heart and not thinking which is something someone else had told me earlier. But it was deep and moving and I am not ashamed to say through throughout the connecting with the ancestors I just wept. I couldn’t stop and I have no idea why. But I thanked her and we chatted a little afterwards too. I know I have a lot to work through and a lot of what came from this workshop is what I will be working on or towards.

After the closing ritual, a quick plate of the nicest Tarka Dahl I’ve had, and losing miserably at the raffle, Nish and I made our way to the extremely packed Firewalking Workshop. I have done the Firewalk before but I don’t think that I wanted the outcome deep down. This year I was determined. I did the arrow breaking ceremony that I had done before, but this time I could feel that I was ready to do it. In 2013 I could feel a degree of resistance to do so but this year I went straight into it. I have plans with my arrow to turn it into something else, at least half of it and the other half I am going to put with my current arrow.

With this firewalk workshop we really get to know our fire, we light it with what we’re wanting to get rid of, putting the energies into a candle and placing it in and giving it fuel. We then sprinkle incense to put in what we would want others to get out of it. When we go back later, after learning a bit more about firewalking and the arrow breaking. I made it across the flames three times, each time as determined as the first. I had intentions in what I wanted to walk towards when I arrived on Friday but over the course of the weekend that changed. I have a lot of work to do to get where I want to be but following the workshop I am ready to face anything that comes my way.

There were ghost stories in the marquee afterwards and after shivering though it all Nisha and I decided to head to bed.

Monday

Monday morning is never a joyous occasion when it comes to Artemis Gathering because it means packing up and leaving. After a relaxed breakfast, where friends told me people had been talking highly about my talk, Nisha and I plodded back reluctantly to put everything away. Then it was a quick round of goodbyes before Sam and I headed for the station with full hearts and lighter purses.

In reflection I think I sell myself a bit short. The weekend was amazing and to think that I was part of the people giving talks was spellbinding. I am capable of speaking in front of people, especially when it’s something I am passionate about and can relate to. Knowing that others can relate to it too and take things away makes it all the more powerful.

So to the future, where I will end up doing yet another blog on my thoughts of that but I am going to be so very busy. I’ve already asked if I can go back next year and I’m hoping I’ll be on the schedule, possibly going down a slightly heavier route but we’ll see how it goes.

So here’s to Artemis Gathering 2016, if you attended, I hope you learned as much as I did, if you didn’t, there’s always Witchfest!

Artemis Gathering 2016 - Friday and Saturday

It's the Monday after the weekend before, and this has been, quite frankly, the best weekend of my year so far.  Having missed a year, I returned to my beloved Artemis Gathering. This year was a bit of a special one for me this year - I was giving my first ever talk. But we'll get to that in a bit.

Friday

So Friday I set out, gaining a friend, Sam, on the way, and we made it to camp for about quarter past 4. Loads had already arrived and were beginning to set up so we got started. After a few false starts with Sam's Tent, we were soon joined by my mate Nisha and before we knew it we had our own little camp. After we were set up we headed off for food, meeting many friends enroute. That evening we had Cliff Carr, Bard to the Dolmen Grove, who I hadn't heard before and the inevitable main event, Damh the Bard. I have seen Damh a few times now and it never gets old, the music is just as enjoyable the first time or the nth time you've seen it. So, high on the music that he played, we headed out after to watch fire performers (whom I always envy). Afterward Sam and I lost Nisha along the way and headed to the Goth Club in the Scout Hut on site. I had popped in briefly on my last visit but didn't enjoy it then, this year however, seemed to be a different matter. I think we must have danced for about 2 and a half hours with the night eventually ending at 1am with both of us outside, Sam dancing to Magic Dance from Labyrinth with me sat on a table with a happy tabby cat curled up in my lap, it was oddly surreal.

Saturday

I woke and headed off pretty quickly to breakfast. I adore the food at Artemis, their Cafe is pretty top notch for festival food, and extremely reasonably priced. You always get your moneys worth! Soon after breakfast, after popping by a stall for my first purchase which I have just discovered is quite the bargain, we went to Ania's workshop on "Living the Tarot". It was about looking at the imagery and creating our own card based on that imagery that would appeal to our own lives. I started doing one on the Cernunnos Card from the Druidcraft deck but my drawing skills are somewhat lacking. Nisha did a beautiful version of The Star though, and I think she's now going to consider doing her own deck.

After Ania, we nipped over to catch Kevin Groves and his talk on Labyrinths. I have walked one of his Labyrinths before and I was extremely keen to do it again, so I did, twice. There is something about walking a Labyrinth, and as Kevin said in his talk, it cannot be explained. Simply experienced. As we shared our experiences coming out, we all experienced different but not totally different things. I found the whole thing very interesting and it's something I would love to look into further myself.

Next was the opening ritual, which turned out to be my second Artemis Gathering Handfasting, this time for Andi and Kelly, the bar staff and friends of mine. I am not ashamed to admit I wept a little, I'm a bit sap when it comes to weddings of any form so my inner romantic was fairly happy! After a congratulation hug we headed for food and a spot of Meet the Witches and probably shopping. It's extremely hard to keep track of when I actually bought things.

Two o'clock brought Creative Visualisation with Kevin again. I have already been to his creative visualisation talks online before but it was nice to make it in person. I think the only difficulty was my back was hurting which probably made me look disinterested (sorry Kevin). But as ever, there were things that he mentioned that echoed a lot of thoughts I'd already been having. So lots to think about, as always, and it tied nicely into some other bits and pieces I later in the weekend (mainly meditations and visualisations where I just ended up totally giving in to it).

I next when to a talk on Anglo Saxon Runes. Which was interesting, I own a set of Eldar Futhark myself but I've struggled with them. While the talk was interesting, I still didn't feel my connection to runes deepening, so I don't know if it's something I'll still continue with or not. I have to confess I seemed a little rude because I stood up and walked away before the talk finished because it was running on and I really wanted to get to the next one!

Next was chanting with Pia. I have to say I do enjoy a bit of chanting and singing so I found this really nice and relaxing. After quite a few in depth talks, something that didn't require as much thinking was wonderful. So we learnt some new chants and sang some old. I also spotted someone with the drum I've been eyeing up so I got a play on that which was great fun.

Next up was another singing workshop, this time with Susan Marie Paramor called "Inner Voice - God and Goddess worship". We were taken through several singing and chanting exercises, and it was basically to teach us not to be afraid with singing, It was lovely and I did feel myself opening up a bit more. It ended with a sort of sound bath used with singing. I came out of that feeling so chilled, it was amazing. 

That was the last workshop of the day so we headed to the marquee once again to have some food while we watched a slightly shortened Daughters of Gaia set which was still enjoyable, then, via a highly amusing auction, it was onto the Dolmen. I have only seen the Dolmen twice but I can tell you that this time I did not stop dancing from the first song to the last. It was absolutely incredible. Even the moments where there were just drumming were amazing, I've developed quite the connection to drums this weekend but that's for another blog. In the end I got a hug and a quick snog from Taloch (be still my heart). I also bought their Kayleigh album which is an album of songs featuring Kayleigh, their bassist and vocalist, as the main singer. There are some instrumentals I am going to have to figure out what they are though, and more Dolmen will be bought at Witchfest!

At Artemis they always have a fire sculpture. Previous years have seen a Phoenix and Dragon but this year we had a good old Wicker man. I managed to grab a picture of it in the morning before. (see below) - As always, there were fire performers and the Wicker Man was filled with magnesium and sparked as he went up in flames. It was a great ending to the day and, utterly worn out by the Dolmen, I made my way to bed pretty soon after.

The rest of the weekend is going to come in a separate blog. Sunday was quite a big day for me, not just from the experiences I had in different workshops but because I gave my first ever talk! I will get that one put up as soon as I can. 

Review: Pagan Parcel by Crafting Magic - January 2016

A little while before Yule I came across a subscription box called Pagan Parcel by Crafting Magic. It wasn't the first I had come across, there were a few I'd seen before that either didn't exist any more or were based in the US are were pricy shipping wise. So when I stumped across Pagan Parcel I was absolutely delighted.

I found a couple of unboxing videos on youtube - my favourites are by RhomanysRhealm and her enthusiasm over the boxes is what made me design to sign up.

The boxes are £14.99 including shipping which I think is a really good price for what you get. Usually you get 8-10 items which are a mixture of herbs, crystals, candles, spell components and one "big" item a month. The overall cost of the items is at least £20 (At least that's what the website says). If Pagan Parcel doesn't do it for you, they are looking at releasing another box or two over the year, the first one will be a Spell Box, not sure what will be in it but I'm intrigued :) We'll see what it brings!

So, onto the actual box!

The box wasn't massive when it came, I've seen them online so I don't know what I was expecting! My only other subscription box experiences are with Nerd Block and MyGeekBox which are a bit larger. I could say one thing though, it smelt heavenly!

First thing out was a A4 piece of paper which details the theme of the box (Imbolc) and lists the contents. On the reverse you have correspondences for the Sabbat and a calendar for February which includes festivals. feast days, the details of full and new books important moments in history (for example this one has the day Gerald Gardner died and the day the Salem Witch Hunt began). There are also a couple of Doreen Valiente quotes for good measure :)

I didn't take a picture of the box as I had opened it, which I now wish I had done. But I was too excited to open it that that had all gone out the window. My original idea had been to do an unboxing video, maybe next month.

So, the first thing I noticed was this: Jasmine incense, and what was the thing causing the smell. It has quite a nice smell, like soap. Unfortunately my husband was less impressed with the smell so not sure if I'll ever burn it, but it was lovely!

This was the second thing I noticed and I was very excited reeds and instructions to make a Brigid's Cross. I was looking at how to get supplies for this only a couple of days ago (although, thinking about it, I live near a river. I could always get reeds from there!). Anyway, this excited me a lot and I am looking forward to crafting this, pictures if all goes well!

The next couple of items are relatively staples for the boxes that I've seen. Candles, in seasonal colours and a crystal. I don't think I own Turquenite so that's exciting.

Herbs! So we have Blackberry leaves, Coltsfoot, Sunflower Seeds and Sesame Seeds. Blackberry Leaves are associated with Bridgt, Coltsfoot is for love (Valentines day) and Sunflower and Sesame seeds are for altar use (although the leaflet states all herbs received are fit for human use, so perhaps a snack if you got hungry!). The other pack is Lavender Bath Salts which smell heavenly also, not massively strong but I don't know if that's just because the Jasmine was so strong.

In the box were also 4 other sheets of paper that came along with the Brigid's Cross instructions. There is a spell if you're bothered by an aspect of your personality it helps you get rid of it, a simple cleansing and blessing ritual, a seed blessing ritual and a recipe for a simple seed cake. Lovely bits of information that come on slightly smaller than A5 bits of paper that can be glued straight into a Book of Shadows should you desire!

This is the "big"item. a Soapstone Pestle and Mortar with a beautifully engraved pentagram. I have a soapstone dish with a Triple moon on it so this will go with it beautifully. It's really rather quite heavy and beautiful. Also not something I own for magical reasons as I'm only getting into herbs and things. It's beautiful.

All in all I am really pleased with this, I look at it more as a kit as everything seems to be linked to spells or rituals provided or can be used in the forthcoming month. I love this more than I would love 8 or so random pagan related things that might not have any direct correlation. 

I'm going to keep up my subscription, I think this will give me a wonderful pagan boost, and once a month will be just right I think. I will continue to review them as they come, if I remember to before I tear the package open I might even do a video, but I wouldn't hold your breath. It's just too exciting to get a box of pagan treats, I don't know how people manage to resist!!

Over all, highly recommended, I hope this review has been helpful!

Merry Meet Again

Part of my 2016 aims and goals is to develop my beliefs and to develop my spiritual practice. As such I've decided that I want to bring this blog back, to attempt to keep my witchy progress somewhat separate from the general goals of my year. My general life blog is Ink Your Map which has my general 2016 goals and aims and personal developments, if anyone reads this and is interested in that side! Ink Your Map is updated Fortnightly and I don't know if I will be doing that with Witch Ways Now or not, I'm not going to assign myself to set days or a set schedule, I suppose I'll post if anything major or exciting happens or any thoughts that come to me I want to share with everyone.

Several of my goals so far are based off my spirituality, they are:-

1. Get more pagan articles published
2. Fire Walk
3. Speak publicly about my beliefs
4. Read more - Witchy Books in particular 
5. Learn Tarot
6. Practice my spirituality
7. Do the Fellowship of Isis course
8. Do the OBOD Course
9. Go to Glastonbury by myself.
10. Crystal Database Project

So I have a few already, some I've already started to pick up on like writing articles (one getting published so far) and I've started to pick up Witchy books to read and do the OBOD course. Going to Glastonbury is probably not going to happen, I have a bit too much going on to be able to afford that sadly but I can dream! The rest are a work in progress and I want to very much start on a lot of them straight away, where possible.

I am excited about speaking about my beliefs as I already have a talk lined up in August which I will need to write and prepare for. It's the first one I've done like that and I'm excited for it. Also will be doing the Firewalk then too which I am also really excited about doing again!

My only issue is, what if I'm doing too much? What if I am hurting my spirituality but attempting to do too many thing all in one go. I bought the Llewellyn Witches Date Book to plan the Pagan things I wanted to do each week. Last week I did nothing I planned. Well, not entirely true I've managed to touch on the OBOD course but that was on Thursday instead of the allotted Monday. I think I'm pushing myself too early and that I need to step back and figure out what it is I am actually wanting to achieve. It's great saying "Oh I want to read all these witchy books" but how? Do I want to just sit and read them cover to cover? Do I want to spend time over them writing notes which means I might take an hour to read a chapter that would normally take 20 minutes? Do I want to read and then spend time writing notes on the chapter I've just learned? Studying was never really a strong point during my high school or brief college careers, so I think I have a lot to learn as to what is going to be a good way for me to go about doing things. 

I think instead of planning the week I am going to plan the evening that day, I know that things get in the way and that I can't always follow a schedule depending on the plans of those around me but I will try.

The other thing I am going to start doing on here is reviewing the books I read, some will be re-reads as I attempt to get my arse back into things, some/most will be entirely new. I want to read a lot this year. I also need to stop being on my laptop so much over weekends so I can get things like reading done or I will be in the exact same state at the end of this year as I was at the beginning.

So baby steps required right now, especially while we're still in the early part of the year and my enthusiasm is still somewhat lacking. Once we get beyond Imbolc I might be a bit more willing.

But roll on 2016 - we'll see where it takes me on my path and how it's going to change me, because it will, I know it will.

The Problem with Being On Your Own

Until now I have never minded being on my own. I always presumed that that was just my lot. That there weren't any pagans around for me to join. So I'd go about things in my half arsed kind of way.

I also presumed that I'd carry on being happy this way, I don't really want to join a coven, the thought of that terrifies me. But over the last couple of years that has changed.

I went to my first fully fledged pagan event in November 2011. Witchfest. And I loved it. There were so many things to see and do, people to meet, talks to go to. I had a great time and discovered some things about myself I'd never even considered. I didn't feel pangs of being alone then. I did eventually, probably a couple of months later. It was after all only a one day event, and it all happened so fast, but I loved being with others like me.

In the meantime I stepped up my online presence a bit, chatting to people, some I'd met at Witchfest. It helped me feel less lonely and I became good friends with a couple of people who I now meet up with at real life events.

I went to the Gathering for the first time August 2013. This was a full 3 day event and I had no idea what to expect. Turns out I had a ball, and again I had so many experiences there I would have never had on my own. Not just fire walking either! But I met more people and had some great discussions and didn't feel all lonely again.

When I got home I was alone again. I missed everyone,the friends I'd made, even the annoying drunk folk. I would have given anything there and then to go back not just because of my friends but because I felt like I belonged. I felt like I was a part of something, something bigger than I felt at home.

Until recently I had only really been aware of one pagan locally. Which is an insane thing to think. I knew there was a moot, I'd seen people wearing pagan jewellery but it all seemed out of reach, as if I was lacking the secret password to gain access to this knowledge. Especially as my friend had seen someone out and about wearing a Children of Artemis T-shirt! So I'm going to have to hunt them down at some point at the Gathering this year.

My luck is changing a bit, I have managed to meet one of the members of the local Moot and hopefully I'll be going to that next month. I know they have a trip to the Rollright Stones in August so I would love to be a part of them properly for that! Will be nice to be out and about doing pagan things without having to rely on other people. Unfortunately most pagan sites aren't accessible by public transport or if they are they take hours to get there just for you to turn back once you get there so that you can actually get home. I really need to learn to drive, then I'll never be home!

There are other issues, not just being lonely. I don't feel that I have anywhere outside where I can do ritual as my back "garden" is an open driveway pretty much with lots of houses looking over it. I've done one bit of magic outside but I felt so conspicuous I've never done it again. Likewise, inside, there are lots of things I can't do, burn loose incense, burn paper. Mainly because my husband will come up the stairs in a shot wondering what is burning and ruin everything. Whereas if I had more of a pagan community they might have somewhere I could go or do stuff as a group.

Anyway, with joining a moot next month, and Artemis Gathering the following, hopefully I'll not feel lonely for a long time :)

New Beginnings

So New Year is around the corner and now is the time for some resolutions. I've thought about this a bit, vaguely remembering the ones I made last year, not sure just how much I stuck to them to be honest. They were probably the usual crap of losing weight and what have you, I might have had some spirituality based ones but I'm not even sure how much I remember then, it all seems such a long time ago.

I'm getting a head start with them this year, I have been thinking about my goals for next year for a little while now, and I'm not going to call them resolutions because if I call them that I will have failed them by the 2nd January regardless of what my aims were. Though if I've achieved something in the time between 1st January and 31st December then it doesn't count as failing I guess!

My goals for next year, I'm going to leave out the largely personal ones, the reoccurring losing weight one, my hope that I might be able to drive next December or maybe having a different job, who knows. The ones I'll post here are more to do with self.

This year my aim was to develop myself spiritually, and I feel that I have confused myself spiritually more than anything else. I think with the last few months where I seem to have sunk into depression or whatever it was that was causing a funk my spirituality has taken a back seat almost. I didn't go to Witchfest in November like the last two years, it always gives me a boost and a bit of a kick up the arse, and I don't think that's really helped how I've been feeling. I have got a couple of plans up my sleeve to reconnect, and hopefully to improve how I'm feeling too.

Firstly, I'm going to get a camera. I know, huge pagan item that...really natural. What I want to do is to start a Photo Blog, probably on Tumblr, but to go out and photograph nature, to photograph the world around me, document where I've been. The camera on my phone is ok but it's not brilliant, so I want a nice little one that will fit in a pocket in my handbag and be there when I want it to be, to snap a cobweb I've found in the morning due, to snap a bird that's landed close to me, or just a misty morning.

Secondly I want to pick up Llewellyn's Spell-a-Day Almanac. It's not all spells, some of it is just daily devotions, leaving offerings, rituals, occasionally just a snippit of knowledge about a festival you're not aware of on that day. I had one for the past year and kept forgetting where I'd put it, so I didn't get much done with it. But I'm hoping that this time, with enough advanced planning, that I might actually do something with it this year. Something else to keep me connected to my path!

Thirdly, I really want to start to study properly again. How many times have I said that in a blog or forum post I wonder? More times than I could possibly count. I know that I have so many books to read and a course or two that I've got to do. And I'm going to, I am going to set myself a goal of just two pagan related books a month, surely I can do that? Actually, maybe one. 12 books a year would probably cover most of my witchy book case. Provided I manage to refrain from buying any more in between. I started a course through Order of Ovates Bards and Druids too and I'd quite like to be able to finish able to this next year. Means I'm going to have to pull my finger out a bit and do it but I believe I can do it, among everything else.

I know that life is going to get in the way, and I know that I am going to have difficulty somewhere or another with spirituality and not being able to do something or another because of this and that and I really hope I'm not going to get stressed out about it. I would love by the end of next year to be so laid back I'm horizontal instead of being full of anxiety and fear and dread all the time. I'd love it so that I don't jump the second someone from work comes near me with something, so that I don't suddenly panic that I've left the house in a storm and envision all my windows being blown in or somehow I've managed to leave something plugged in which has caused a massive fire somewhere. I'm hoping that study will help me focus my mind and prevent it from wandering constantly. 

I want to practice my crafts, improve with the Tarot, not just one of my decks but the two I have, use my oracle decks more frequently and familiarise myself with those. Pendulums too, now I have three, I'd like to be able to use in different ways to the ways I use them now. Perhaps pick up a new skill, I have a beautiful set of amethyst runes I'm afraid I've barely been near because I've been utterly bewildered with how they work and the ability to learn the symbols. Perhaps something else for the year ahead.

Another thing I'd like to do is have some witchy writing published. I wrote an article for the Witchcraft and Wicca magazine run by Children of Artemis and I hope that I'll be able to write more for them and hopefully have something in the magazine. I might even submit an article or two to the Pagan Dawn and see how that goes! I also want to be able to focus on developing the idea I have for a pagan book that I want to publish someday in the future, although I know it's not going to happen in 2014, I'd like something with it to happen, whether it's research, developing techniques, learning new ones. 

There are more events I want to go to next year, The Artemis Gathering and Witchfest are definitely on my list, regardless of what else is happening, I might see if I can take myself on a trip or two with some other folk to places like Glastonbury, Avebury and Stonehenge.

Lastly, I want to take up meditation. Again, part of the developing myself, helping myself through the anxiety and depression I've been suffering. Help myself to be happy again and focus my life on the tasks that I want to complete and succeed in. Even if it's only 10 minutes a day it's more than what I'm doing now and gives me the chance to have some from of me time, even if the rest of my time is taken away from me.

There is a bit of work to be done before the 1st of January where I start all this, something I'll look at over the course of the weekend and when I get  home, I also plan to take myself away on the 31st December to spend a gift voucher I have for Waterstones and to get my camera. I might even pop into my favourite shop Zen too and see if I can pick up a witchy thing or two (undoubtedly crystals...)

So here's to a happier me for next year, a more spiritual me and hopefully a not too worn out me!

See you in 2014 x

Questioning Everything....again

If you had asked me this time last month what path I followed, I would have told you that I did not know, but that I was fairly certain that it wasn't Wicca and that I was leaning towards some other path. Ask me now, and I'd tell you I don't know.

As per my previous posts you will be aware that I was at the Gathering in the beautiful Oxfordshire countryside this past weekend, and at this event I attended a lot of different talks and events. A lot of what I attended were rituals. Not through my own accord, it just so happened to be the talks I went to ended up being ritual based. Through the rituals I felt a connection, something deep down inside was feeling comfortable and at home. Most of these rituals were Wicca based, though not all, but I felt at home almost. I loved seeing them performed properly by people who knew what they were doing. It's not something I've really been able to witness.

So am I Wicca? I don't know. I'm certainly willing to consider it again, I'm going to focus on some of the books that are recommended reading when following a Wicca based path, see if I feel it still feels as good as it did when the rituals were performed in the field.

I guess practice might be good too, work towards the general rituals - take what I can from solitary books or adapt group ones. I'm going to re-re-read Scott Cunningham's Wicca and go from there.

The other thing that I had started to consider was the notion of covens. I don't know if I could work within a coven, I think I am too stubborn and independent, but the thought intrigued me and it might be something I'll entertain in the future. If not a coven then certainly check out the moot that's near by, I need some form of connection beyond the internet, I think.

These new notions of mine, however, will help me with another idea I have. I want to plan out and hold some talks on Children of Artemis' SecondLife Sim based on Finding a Path. I wrote an article which I sent to them for their magazine, Witchcraft and Wicca. I don't feel like I know enough on any other subject but I might be able to help on this aspect and to let people know not to jump at one path and hope it fits, but to take the time.  Going back to Wicca just shows that I didn't necessarily take the appropriate time to consider it, or at least didn't have enough experience to think it might be the right path. Either way, I'm looking forward to starting to plan this out. Hopefully these classes will start on SecondLife by mid-September where, hopefully, they will get decent enough feedback to fuel the next part of my plan, but that bit is underwraps for now, and you'll need to wait to find out where I'm going with that.

So, old directions and new directions being head into, this is exciting for me and I'm sure it's just the beginning of what the aftermath of the Gathering has in store for me.

The Dark Goddess

I wanted to write a separate post for the Dark Goddess talk at the Gathering. This talk was far more involved than some I went to, it was also a longer session that the rest of the talks there. The talk was held at Witchfest in 2012 but she felt that a longer session would have benefited, and I have to say I’d agree.

By means of introduction, the Dark Goddess talk was held by Jane Meredith. She is Australian and apparently her talk was first heard at the Goddess Conference in Glastonbury where, thereafter, it became one of her most requested talks. To me the purpose of the Dark Goddess talks is to show that it’s alright for life not to go ok, that life isn’t all love and light and sunshine and roses and snowdrops on kittens or whatever else and that the Dark Goddess can have a profound effect on our lives but also that we can move on from the dark periods and come into light.

What I intend to write here is breakdown of the whole talk, some bits will be omitted which I will explain why when I get to them but it is largely a matter of confidentiality.

Jane welcomed us and went through a little bit about the Dark Goddess and her own experiences with working with her. She went into a bit about Inanna and a little bit about the other Dark Goddesses but thought that we’d spend most of the time in ritual.

I haven’t done loads of ritual, so I was jumping at the chance of anything, particularly new stuff and this was very new. So we started by invoking the Dark Goddess. We did this through lots of changing and invoking her by 4 names, Persephone, Kali, The Morrigan and Ereshkigal, the latter I had never heard of before today and need to look into. Once invoked we spoke a bit more, then we split into groups where we discussed the aspects of our lives where we felt that the Dark Goddess had been present. This is where I won’t go into detail in the name of confidentiality, but I will share my own.

What I shared with the group was that after I got married, happily so, I felt like I didn’t have much to look forward to. Ignoring the far future, the near future beyond my husband was looking bleak. I was stuck in a job I wasn’t happy in, I had no career prospects, and I got pretty depressed. I didn’t want to be where I was. I’m not going to lie, I don’t think those feelings have entirely gone, not by a long shot, but I’m working on them.

Then we looked at how we felt that we had overcome the dark aspects. I was honest, I said I didn’t think I had gone through it yet, but I was getting there and spirituality was one of the ways I felt was helping me cope.

After this we approached the Dark Goddess. We did this through another part of ritual where we walked symbolically into the underworld chanting:

“I am beneath the earth, I am inside of you,

You are in my heart, I am in yours too.”

We walked in a circle, clock wise, with a chair in the middle where the Goddess was to sit. During the walk we were, if we wanted to, to approach the chair in the middle and ask the Goddess a question we wanted help with. Then we were to sit in the chair as the Dark Goddess and view ourselves and listen to what she had to say, if anything. I’m not going to go into too much detail here again, on my part this time. But I did connect with her, and I got an answer, whether it was the one I was particularly looking for I don’t know, but it was an answer, I received it and it kinda went with everything else over the weekend in a roundabout way, but more on that later.

Once we had met the Dark Goddess, or made the decision not to, we were to walk in the opposite direction to mark us coming back up from the underworld.

Afterwords we bid farewell to the Dark Goddess very similarly the way we began.

It’s not very often that I feel opened up in a ritual; I think I still hold a degree of scepticism with regards to certain aspects of the occult. This weekend held a lot of interesting moments for me where I could feel the energy or the presence of something more, and this talk and ritual was one of them. I have no doubt that the Goddess was there listening to us and that the answer that came from within was from her. It’s made me interested in her dark side and to look into it more. I did buy Jane’s book on the same subject matter and I really look forward to reading it. I think I can connect with the Dark Goddess more than I thought.

Later in the evening, after my arrow breaking and firewalk, I thought bought to the Dark Goddess workshop. I thought of what I had offered up to the Goddess and noted how they were the same things I gave up to the fire in the ritual before the firewalk. A change has been spurred inside of me, and I know I am not the only one to feel the same. We all experienced a change, it’s a common theme in comments surrounding the event from both attendees and even those given the talks, the initiated, we all sensed something different.

I want to know where the future is going, I can tell that I am not going to be where I am this time next year, in what terms I can’t quite tell. But for now I’m comfortable being me, and wherever this fire magic takes me, I’m quite willing to go.

Artemis Gathering 9th-12th August 2013

It's been a while since I went near my blog, for various reasons but I'll go into them separately another time.

This past weekend I have been at the Artemis Gathering which is run by The Children of Artemis which holds a host of Workshops and Talks and events and its fab. This was my first year and I really didn't know what to expect, I had been to their other event Witchfest but I was told the Gathering was quite different.

The weekend got off to an interesting start when I ended up camping with friends Tom, Hannah, Hywell and Kevin. Kevin is a speaker at COA events and camping with him meant we ended up camping with some other speakers. Mostly initiated Wiccans who were really interesting and made for interesting listening for most of the weekend. They also ran the rituals that were heard at the event. That night was full of conversation, making friends early on and the beautiful music of Cephlalodidge and Damh the Bard. I'm already a massive fan of Damh and it was lovely seeing him play live again!

So the first day the first thing I attended was a talk on Oils, Incense and Brews. Not mediums I have really worked with beyond stick incense, but it was interesting. We got to make our own oils and after looking mine up I have noticed that their attributes are very relevant to an issue that I have at the moment, so that was a massive bonus. I've called it Artemis Oil after the weekend.

Next I went on a nature walk by Tylluan Penry. Now I am a massive fan of Tylluan's work, I have three of her books (although admittedly not all read), and I've gone to many of her talks in the past. The talk was interesting as she actually asked us what we would use individual plants for and pointed out that we don't all use them for the same things and that that is absolutely fine. There are, I'm sure, many who would disagree with that and that X plant has X attributes and that is that. Anything else is nonsense. She brought light and laughter to the talk too which was brilliant. I feel like I've learnt to open my eyes a bit more too!

Then came what was advertised as the opening ritual. It turned out that the opening ritual was the handfasting of Merlyn and Cath who run Children of Artemis. It was beautiful and I feel so blessed to have been included in the ceremony. It was overseen by Tam Campbell, a man I hold in high esteem as he damn well knows what he's talking about and is willing to help others. A lot of the speakers were involved in this as well and it was beautiful seeing them all come together. I wish Merlyn and Cath every happiness in their future and that the God and Goddess bless them many times over!

After a short break and vaguely listening to most of the ritual team again in Meeting the Witches I headed for three hours straight of Tylluan Penry. It made my bum most numb as I was sat on the ground but she had lots of interesting things to say from Magic for finding a Phallus and losing it again, writing and on creating a personal mythology. As ever I learnt lots from her and have bumped Stephen King's On Writing up my reading pile. I hope I have the opportunity to work with her in the future on writing and possibly a book.

The rest of the day was taken up with food, a burning dragon, a slight near injury experience, good company and a relatively early night and might have actually got some sleep too!

Sunday brought one of the best workshops for me. Jane Meredith spoke on The Dark Goddess and myths and how she can touch our lives. It was really really interesting and  I really enjoyed it. A lot of it was a doing workshop, and we connected with others and looked at the dark aspects from our past etc. It was very opening and trusting. We also came face to face with the Dark Goddess in another later part of the ritual. The dark aspect of the Goddess is not one I have worked with but I think I might as it's a really interesting look at another side of my spirituality and also at myself and the moments where I have actually probably come across her without knowing it and knowing I can connect with her to get out of those moments. I bought her book later on which was kindly signed for me, and I spoke with her and she is a lovely lady. I look forward to reading it. I will probably do a more in-depth blog on this workshop later.

After yet another break, unfortunately missing Kevin's talk on Energy Work Based Healing due to Hannah and Hywell leaving early I headed to Steven Ward's Intro to elemental ritual work. In that he did a brief talk and then we did a ritual of what was basically the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram. It was interesting as I've never done one before, it was quick and easy and it was a really nice thing to do.

I went to another talk by Pandora who did the one on Oils, this one was on Talismans where we created our own. I'm not so happy with mine but I know I can make another one! The information was given to us in an easily readable format so will be working on this in the future.

After a dinner break was the closing ritual. Once again I really enjoyed this, being with people who are all on similar paths working towards one goal was beautiful. The woman who lead the ritual seemed a little nervous to begin with, I am guessing it was her first on such a large scale but she did it wonderfully. At the end of the ritual we were each given a crystal as a memento, we had done a spiral dance to put energy into it to take away it was was brilliant. I ended up with mine in my bra until about Monday night so it now has a lot of personal energy in it too.

Then was the one thing I really wanted to do and was really looking forward to. The Firewalk Workshop. It was run by Oona McFarlane, a lovely Scottish lady who I could really connect with. The only things I have seen about firewalks have involved a lot of mental preparation before hand in an almost self hypnosis kind of way. Now imagine by "delight" when Oona said she didn't do that and that yes, we would be walking over hot coals, not imagining that we're walking over cool wet grass. Gulp! The first part of the workshop was a bit of a talk about how she got into fire, then we had a walk up to start the fire and putting in it things we wanted to be rid of or putting love and joy into it. And I can tell you, that fire was hot!! We threw incense on it next for another part to work towards or to gain from the fire such as peace, knowledge etc. The incense was amazing and I'm definitely going to need to get the recipe! We headed back to the lodge where we had a bit of paper and wrote down our goals, our vision of what we would be walking towards as we crossed the coals. Then came the arrows. The arrows were something to break through, with our necks. It was an odd thing to watch but when I realised there was no harm to come from it, I went and broke my own arrow to overcome aspects I don't like about myself. Then we headed up to the fire. It had burnt away a lot by now, and as they raked the coals I kinda wondered what I was getting myself into. I wasn't even sure if I was going to do it at that point but when I saw a friends 12 year old daughter practically dance across, I thought "well, why not." I walked the coals three times. And I got such a buzz from doing it. Definitely doing it again next year!

The night was filled with more socialising and a very late night. In the end I got 4 hours sleep on the last night. I went home exhausted but full of so many memories and laughs, knowledge and enlightenment and spiritually awakened.

Only 88 days until Witchfest in November when I hope to meet many of the same friends again.

The First Step

So this is a little later than I had anticipated, but I have finally re-read my first two books!

Since my initial blog on starting again I have managed to read Scott Cunningham's Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner and Doreen Valiente's Natural Magic. The latter took a little longer to read than I would have liked due to time and other things going on but I finally managed to finish reading it. As I said, these were the first two books I ever read on Wicca and Witchcraft, and I find it easy to see where my beliefs fall within these two books. Firstly, my spirituality comes from Wicca, my belief in the God and Goddess I firmly believe I got from Mr Cunningham's works. What I got from Doreen is what I believe Magick should be. Although I believe she did have some form of ritual (though not evident in Natural Magick) everything seems to be far more back to roots and some serious old style magick.

Natural Magic looks to folklore, old correspondences and old beliefs. I suppose I like the fact that this feels like a more traditional path, one of old. It covers many topics  from weather magic, to colours, elements, herbs. It even covers the second form of divination I ever practiced, using playing cards. (The first was dominoes for anyone interested!) This magic is very homely, it's the kind of information you'd expect your country residing Grandmother to know just off the tip of her tongue, just because she did, and it was the kind of thing everyone knew. It's not necessarily a book for a beginner but at the same time it's a nice introduction to the ways of magic without being bogged down in the more modern Wiccan trappings.

Scott Cunningham's Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner is where most start their path. I can see how this book makes Mr Cunningham "immortal" as I have heard many claim he will be. As the first book of this kind I can see why it was so popular, it was everything everyone wanted to know about Wicca and made it so accessible  This is what made me fall in love with that path, I love the knowledge of the God and Goddess and the information on rituals and the Book of Shadows at the back with the chants and recipes. I didn't know it could be so exciting, before all I really knew was what I could find on the internet and a lot of that was dubious at best. Having re-read it this excitement was exactly why I came to my path, and it is exactly why I've stayed on it. I bought this book and read it for the first time over 7 years ago, and I know my path has changed from this, my initial path. Though retrospectively it has started my interests in many things and they have changed me for the better.

When I initially came to Wicca I was going through a difficult period of my personal life. The spiritual practice I follow, although little means so much to me. It opens my heart and my soul and I feel alive. I enjoy being alive with nature. Although I feel as though I have had some time away and rediscovering my path this way has already made me feel more connected with everything again.

Saturday the 17th I'm going to Witchfest run by Children of Artemis. This is my second one, last year I had some eye opening experiences but I think that is for another blog. I can't wait to be around people of similar beliefs and to attend talks I hope with enrich my path and practices. That and go shopping of course! I'm looking forward to meeting old friends and new ones, and feeling like I belong. Something I feel too infrequently.

My current read is Wicca: Magickal Beginnings by Sorita D'Este and David Rankine. This isn't a re-read, I got this book on Kindle earlier in the year and it's been staring at me for ages, I now also have a physical version which doesn't seem any less formidable! It's a bit daunting in chapters (I'll post again when I finish that one as I feel it needs it's own post!) but I feel that what I've read so far really helps me with my path. Looking at it from a historical point of view and trying to figure out where everything has come from has been quite an eye opener for me so far. Still have lots of it to read so more of that later!

Blessings )O(

Connecting with Nature, or Why It’s Important To Hug Trees

Nature is all around us, regardless of whether you are in the middle of the countryside or in the middle of a city. Admittedly, it is easier to see in a park or in the country than it is in a big city, but it is always there, whether you can see it or not. Part of the ability to see nature everywhere comes from being connected with it. In this twenty first century, with its expanding settlements and waves of technology, people are becoming more and more distanced from nature and unable to see the wonders she can bring, even if they like on their very doorsteps.

Pagans, you would think, would be the last people to be disconnected with nature, with their Earth based religions, moon worship and appreciation of our ancient lands. Though this is not always the case and I find pagans too can be prone to disconnecting from nature from time to time due to life stresses, family commitments, work etc. Over time I have become disconnected for these reasons, moving from the country to busy towns however, was the first thing to block me.

Coming from a village where I was surrounded by fields, with a stream at the bottom of the garden, surrounded by hills, the concrete world of a busy town was completely foreign to me as a place to live. Although I passed through parks to get to work, would occasionally marvel at squirrels, and delight at the colours of spring and autumn, something wasn’t right. The nature didn’t feel accessible to me although it was always within reach. I couldn’t see the stars at night due to the light pollution, I daren’t wander around barefoot in fear of treading in some errant dog mess and I’m not sure I could have even brought myself to hug a tree. I’m not sure things got much better initially when I moved to my next concrete based prison, though this place had something different about it. It had history, and that history left a beautiful energy.

I soon felt a pull, towards parks, with rivers or wild places, cared for enough I could go barefoot, sit against a tree and feeling that energy seep into me, feeling that almighty love within I used to feel when connecting with deity back home. Empowered by both the energy of the ancestors of this place and the energy of nature. This energy changed me, from the dark, woeful girl of my teenage years in to something much happier and loving, in only a year I had changed dramatically. And it was in this concrete town, with its various energies I first saw the God in the way he wished to be seen by me. Now that was a magical moment! I now see nature everywhere, even in the busiest of places, be it a single bird song above the din of traffic, a spider making a web in a shop doorway, the smell of weather turning or even just the chill of winter frosts. I smile at each of these things in turn and feel that love in my heart that lets me know that deity is there, my God & Goddess by my side, still surprising me.

Through this I learnt the importance of nature. I now know that having a physical connection to nature is vital to human beings.

One day, not so long ago, I was walking through a small church garden on my way to work. The garden was empty, save a few birds and the odd squirrel. There were trees surrounding me, grass and bushes, but I felt very disconnected. I felt as though they were out of reach, there but no there. I craved the touch of them, I wanted to walk barefoot in the grass, touch the trees and the flowers. Embrace it. I craved it, I needed it and I believe it’s a connection we all need. How many of us can say we’re in touch with nature daily? Even weekly?

There are many ways to start, connecting with nature. I believe the best way is to go to a park, perhaps a quiet corner if one can be found, and sit under a tree, pressing your back against the bark. Close your eyes and let the energy from the tree and the Earth embrace you. You will feel more relaxed with every breath you take. Pay attention to the noises you hear, how many different birds are there? If the wind is blowing listen to the whispering of the trees and let them ease you into this meditation.

It has been proven that “tree hugging” increases happiness, being in nature increases happiness. This physical connection not only increases your happiness but it allows deity into your heart. It allows you to feel your God and/or Goddess by your side. That overwhelming feel of love, personally, puts me on a high that lasts for ages.

Without nature and without the contact and feeling the energies I would be a very different person to who I am today. So take ten minutes, five if it’s all you have. Go outside, sit with nature and let it truly surprise you.

Starting again...

It's been a couple of months since my last post, I know, I'm sorry. Life has been kinda crazy the last little while so I haven't been able to focus on any aspect of my path too much, but this is where this entry comes in.

There is always one thing I regret with my spiritual path, and that is the lack of writing I have done. I love writing, but when it comes to my path I will write about 4 pages in a notebook, maybe copy the Wiccan Rede then something else will distract me. Possibly a sign that my heart isn't in it or that it's not the right time for me and that kind of activity.

Last night I watched on youtube Pagyptsian's "All of my BoS's!" Watch Here! She decorates her journals beautifully, not something I could do, but she keeps referencing how important it is to have this record, and how to look back and see how much spiritual practices have changed and how beliefs have changed. I know for one thing that when I started out in Wicca it was the spells that drew me to it first, and they are now the thing I do least in my practice, I also know I've decided I'm not Wiccan but I don't have the documentation to go back to and read to see when or why I decided I wasn't necessarily Wiccan, was there some event that happened that made me stop following that path? I don't have records of the very few times the God and Goddess have actually communicated with me, although I remember them clearly, having them in my spiritual journal or book of shadows or what have you would be a nice thing to look back on and to show my children if they chose this spiritual path.

Sadly, I don't have a TARDIS so I can't go back and tell myself I'm doing things wrong, so what can I do? I could write a retrospective view which I have done in the past, probably missing large bits out where it's all a little bit sketchy in my mind. So I've figured that the best thing for me to do is to start all over again. Almost wipe the last 10 years out and go back to the beginning of everything.

So I'm going to start reading my beginning books again. I'm about to start Scott Cunningham's Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner, and I've order Doreen Valiente's Natural Magic, as that was my very very first book in Witchcraft. And reading through these books I will take notes on how I feel on various aspects contained within there and which I apply to my spiritual beliefs and which I don't and why. I will do small rituals and spells and note success and I will once, and for all, learn to read the Tarot.

I think one of a lot of pagans fears is being accused of being a fraud. It's ridiculous I know, but it's something I fear because I don't have a set practice. I don't spent every full moon doing rituals, if anything I'll just stick my head out the window, blow a kiss and be done with it. As I said, I don't do spells, not really. I am too scared of things going wrong to actually do one, but I know if I actually sat down and read about them and wrote notes I could evaluate my fears and over come them. So I might feel less of a fraud if I actually cast a spell every now and then, and I know it's not all about the witchcraft side of stuff, but it's something I want to do.

When I have read books I'll try and post up my thoughts of them up here. Might do a couple of books at a time so I won 't rush you suddenly with lots of posts. If anyone has book recommendations please comment, I feel I have a somewhat restricted library, and I am always looking to expand it!

Until next time,

Blessed Be!